you 'belong' before you believe....

Christianese gone bad

I consider myself a quadrilingual. This means I speak 4 languages. English, Spanish, Spanglish, and New York Hood English :) Welcome to me, if you need a translator - holla at your girl!

But never did I think I could become a polyglot (which means someone who speaks more than 4 languages), but from 2015-2020 - I was a leading expert in the language of Christianese. If you don’t know what that is (BLESS YOU) but what it means is that you speak in terms, phrases, and ways that many Christians in mainstream Christianity speak. I’m not saying I don’t speak it anymore but I no longer speak it out of pressure, culture, or lack of identity (which are the reasons why it was a heavy and primary language in my life just a few years ago).

But in my time hearing and speaking Christianese, I would repeatedly hear this one thing that I just never felt comfortable saying…..

“you belong before you believe”

(image/graphic from Traders Point Christian church)

I was actually asked to say it on many occasions while working at a church just a few years ago but chose to not do it.

I get the seemingly “welcoming” tone it gives. I get why it would be a good marketing tactic as it includes alliteration. I get why people would THINK it sounds inviting and encouraging.

But the reality is that it’s actually none of those things and here’s what’s wrong with it:

From a hospitality perspective: the phrase “you belong before you believe” assumes that someone visiting your church wants to belong there. Perhaps they are just passing by. Or perhaps they hear this very thing and have come to the church several times and keep hearing this phrase but they aren’t SEEING how they actually belong. Maybe because they don’t see people that look like them or they see a lot of cliques in the Church. Or perhaps all together other reasons that they just don’t socially or relationally feel that they belong there.

From a theological perspective: Technically we begin to belong to the body of Christ the moment we give our life to Jesus. Not before that. Therefore, the phrase “you belong before you believe” is actually communicating that you can belong in this “building” but not in this “body” before you believe. And although some people might think that’s an encouraging thing to say - it really isn’t because it still creates a separation between believers and non-believers. What we could potentially rather say to non-believers who visit is things like “If you’d like to learn more about the gospel - we’d love to have a conversation with you” or “we would love to learn more about you and your story”. This creates a deeper connection and a sense of trust more than a generic and surfaced line like “you belong before you believe”.

From a Native/BIPOC (Black Indigenous People of Color) perspective: the word belong is often associated with ownership. And America has historical issues with people being owned by people and people taking land that is owned by others. Therefore, this wording of “belonging” - depending on who is saying it, can have negative connotations to it. It can even be triggering or uninviting.

From a wounded perspective: this phrase will probably not work with most people who have been harmed by the Church because many of us have heard words like this in the very places that have abused us. I know I have. Therefore, being more mindful of the language that we use to welcome people and get to know them is a part of being a trauma-informed Church that considers how language can heal or harm people. If you are someone who wants to grow in this area - THIS is a great resource for you!

And some would or could say, well then nothing is safe to say because people can get offended or triggered by anything. And that’s actually not true - there are plenty of things that can be said that are theologically accurate and trauma-informed at the same time. It’s just a matter of being more thoughtful instead of trying to sound clever. It’s also a matter of considering how the Christianese phrases that will be used in a Church can be followed up with action, consistency, and a culture that matches it.

One of the things I love about Jesus is that we are His beloved and He doesn’t just say we are, He also acts like we are. After all, He went to the cross for us. That is an action that speaks louder than words.

Photo by Florian Weichert on Unsplash

Other Christianese words that I don’t have time to explain fully but that perhaps need some revamping/reconfiguring:

• “come as you are” (this is often not true in most places so saying it can feel like people are hearing a lie)

• “welcome home” (although ‘home’ can be people, so many folks have struggled with the word home and don’t even know what it means to them so unless your church is fully prepared to have deep discipleship, consistent community, and actual support for those who come - ‘home’ may not be the ideal word to use until you’re ready to be it)

• “doing life together” (this can feel so fake in a community where people see each other only on Sundays)

• “Discover your purpose!” (this is often used as a tool to get people to serve instead of actually helping people discover their callings. It also confuses people about purpose since we all have one - which is to glorify God and that is lived out through different callings we each have)

Another thing to notice and consider is that a lot of this language is very Hillsong-rooted and White-Church-culture-centered. You’ll be hard-pressed to find most of these sayings communicated or presented in Churches that aren’t predominantly White or influenced by White-leadership/culture. That’s something to reflect on and consider as a Body.

So friends, if you’re healing from language that has actually harmed you - I hope you know that Christ Himself calls you beloved and in His arms you really do belong.

your fellow wounded and beloved sister,

Pricelis Dominguez