I first considered seminary while I was in a cult
PART 1: MY SEMINARY JOURNEY SERIES
In 2015, I was in the midst of deciding whether to go to seminary or social work school. I was part of a ‘church’ where I was really involved and felt God’s calling to seminary (I was right about the call but wrong about the timing). I ended up going to social work school instead, but I think that’s a good thing, and it was actually God’s mercy because at that time, I was in a cult.
Throughout the years, I have jokingly called our old church that here and there, but never seriously when I was sharing my story. But this week, I finished reading a book I wouldn’t usually read, but I’m re-watching One Tree Hill and remembered one of the actresses in it came out with a book, so I thought I’d read Bethany Joy Lenz’s book ‘Dinner for Vampires’ and my God, I thought she was writing the story of my life in the time I was working at that old church from 2015-2017. I didn’t last as long as she did in hers, and they ain't steal my money cause I had no money to steal, but they did make sure my co-workers and I didn’t make a living wage working full-time at that church, so being funny with the money regardless, cause one thing cults are gonna do is mess with people’s money one way or another (among other things).
That’s the thing, within the BIPOC community, I find we use the words ‘abuse’ and ‘cult’ way less than our White brothers and sisters and some could argue that we experience less of it and that’s why (cause most cult docu-series on netflix and hulu are definitiely of white folks) but I think it’s actually because we have been programmed to use ‘abuse’ in the most extreme of situations while finding the beginning red flags of abuse to be more acceptable. Maybe it’s because we are resilient, or maybe it’s because we have been taught to endure hard things, or maybe because our ancestors endured oppressive circumstances, or maybe it’s something else altogether but I just find us less quick to use. This is not anything against those who do use these terms or our white brothers and sisters; it’s just how we, particularly the Black and Latino community, have been formed in the United States.
At least for me, I know I wouldn’t use those words lightly, but now, when I look back at all that happened at the church and how they even were when we try to hold them accountable a few years after that, it definitely gives - cult.
So yeah, I was in a cult, and I was spiritually abused and have healed a lot from it, but also stolen healing and unlearning.
