houston, harmful places, and HOPE
A response to "The Church I Now See"
It was about 10 years ago that I was sitting in a service at Hillsong NYC and I heard the words “she’s back”.
These words weren’t being communicated by a human in the ‘sanctuary’ during that service but rather by the Holy Spirit Himself - singing a praise for my return to Christ.
If you’ve been here a while then you know part of my story but I grew up going to Church and completely left the faith and Jesus when I was 17 years. No particular “church hurt” moment led me there, I just decided I didn’t believe in any of it anymore.
But about 5 years later, I began to get consistent invitations to Church by my then-boyfriend and some friends that I was surprised were even Christian. At one point, I got annoyed and finally said ‘yes’ to going to a church service but I was adamant about not going to the Church my husband (then boyfriend) was attending, which is the last Church I had been a part of. So my friend, Yarminiah invited me to where she was going - which was Hillsong NYC.
It was a spring morning in 2013 and we were walking into the Hammerstein Ballroom - which I had only gone to for music concerts where I was usually never sober for. But this time, I was going to a Church service and as I walked in and saw the thousands of people in there - I was confused. I didn’t realize people were still doing this “church or Christianity” thing then. And in the middle of announcements or worship or something else, I had a private moment with the Lord in the midst of a very crowded room. I decided to open my heart up to Jesus again….. “she’s back” indeed.
A few months after that service they began to announce a “Vision Sunday” service that was coming. I had never heard of it and didn’t know what it was about. The day Vision Sunday arrived it felt like I was at a Broadway show. I’m not going to get into the details but they were doing a lot (and it was pretty unnecessary). When the service got to the sermon component, we all fixed our eyes on the stage where the projector screen that usually had announcements and song lyrics now had a video it was playing. The video began and in it, we heard Pastor Brian Houston begin to speak.
“The Church I now see” - this was the title of his vision Sunday service sermon. I still at that moment didn’t really understand what “Vision Sunday” was but the words of this man, who I literally didn’t know who he was at that time, were encouraging and sounded delightful to the ear. At the end of the service, I was very clear on what Vision Sunday was. It was the “special” offering Sunday service. It was the day you gave a little a bit more than you usually do beyond your tithe or offering.
I was silly enough to assume Vision Sunday was a time to encourage and invite the Church to lean even more on the call to BE the church. But, that was not it at all. “The Church I now see” sermon could have convinced us that it was about being the Church but that’s the power of words and marketing and planning. When you plan to manipulate people, you will do it effectively because you put effort and grit into it.
I’m not talking about Hillsong and Houston because it’s trendy but let me tell you a little bit more about my experience at Hillsong before we keep going. I did not experience Church hurt at Hillsong NYC. The worst thing I can tell you about that place while I was there was that there were too many people, it felt too disconnected, and I never met one pastor. Do I believe people have experienced deep abuse there? absolutely but I’m not writing this from a place of hurt specifically from Hillsong but a middle ground of weariness of the Church and also hope for HER.
I recently began to watch “The Secrets of Hillsong” docu-series on Hulu. I have many thoughts on it and I may or may not share them later on. And I think depending on where you are on your healed/healing journey - you should have discernment on whether or not you should watch it too. But after seeing it, I saw someone post Brian Houston’s response to it. It was deeply disappointing but also not unexpected.
The reality is that I don’t think the man that wrote “The Church I Now See” years ago is any different than the man that is fighting to keep his name/brand profitable and not cancelled today. “The Church I Now See” sermon seemed ‘good’ at the time but something is only good if the foundations of it come from Christ. There are people who will proclaim Christ so we’ll assume the foundations of what they share and what they do, is Christ - but praise God the Spirit of the Living God resides within us and invites us to test and discern as it says in 1 John 4:1:
“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”
Sometimes we don’t need to be that deep or spiritual to TEST and KNOW when something isn’t from God. “The Church I Now See” message is riddled with foundations of toxic leadership, colonial mindset, and prosperity gospel. He uses language like “occupy land”, “scaling”, “increase”, “provision”, “innovative”, “generous”, and “network”. in it. You can read it HERE.
It’s a message that looks and sounds encouraging but when you consider how it is the “vision” of the Church and how it was born out of an “offering” Sunday - then you see the spirit (lowercase ‘s’ was intentional there) and the fruit that it’s actually coming from. And this isn’t just applicable to Brian and Hillsong - but the systems and culture that amplify this kind of message and behavior. An UnChristlike way to be the Body/Church.
So what do we do with this?
Do we try to cancel Brian Houston and others like him?
Do we try to get people to not go to Hillsong and churches like it?
Do we communicate our rage on social media? What do we do?
I think the answer, my friends, is HOPE. We get to h o p e.
This may not be what you expected or even want to hear but we get to hope in the Christ that knows and sees all things and says He loves justice like it’s communicated in Psalm 37:28:
“For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed; the offspring of the wicked will perish.
And we get to live out Romans 12:12:
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
And Romans 8:25
“But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.”
And Hebrews 10:23
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.
And Lamentations 3:24
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.”
And Isaiah 1:17
“Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.”
And Micah 6:8
“he has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
We get to hope and be “THE BODY” Christ has proclaimed us to be. Bringing hope through the good news that is the resurrected Jesus. We get to live these things out as “The Body We Now See”. At the moment, we don’t see a fully healthy Body when we see the Church but proclaiming and practically living out what we can become is how we’ll get there.
“The Body We Now See is This”
Ephesians 4:16 “From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.”
Beyond a Church service, a church organization, a church network, a church group, and being a particular Church - but rather,
BEING THE WHOLE BODY.
So that is what this is. A taking back of empty words that were the foundations of harming thousands and building a castle where “others” were mistreated or left out. We are redeeming what a harmful man and system thought they could build to be the church they wanted to see for profit and fame. And instead, we are choosing the path of responding to Isaiah 43 with gladness and hope and being the Body we want to see for the glory of God, the edification of the Body, and liberation for all.
“O Israel, hope in the Lord! For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption.” - Psalm 130:7
your fellow body part,
Pricelis Dominguez
I wrote the NEW VISION version of “The Church I Now See” so if you want the print version of this proclamation, poem, and prayer on a magnet hanger - you can
I've recently come across your page, and this post (along with others) have really resonated with me. I have been in and out of church for most of my teenage/adult life (I'm now 38), and I have always left because the church has been harmful to people like me. I'm gay, and the church as an institution obviously condemns people like me. Despite this, I returned to church a few months ago because I want a relationship with God. And as I look around the world and my church I can see how their condemnation, which is often so public and hurtful, actually PREVENTS people from coming to Jesus at all (whether alone or through a church), even though the role of the church is to make disciples of the world. I just don't know what to do with it all. I understand what the bible says, trust me I really do, and that is something people like me have to wrestle with internally and publicly. But I just feel deeply, for all the people that will never get to have a relationship with God, because the church has condemned them before they even had a chance. And that... that feels more unbiblical than my homosexuality.
I ran in to an old friend recently, a woman in her late 30s. We used to go to the same church years ago. As we caught up, she told me how genuinely good her life is now, she is over 3 years sober, is married and has a one yr old girl. Her smile was radiant. I asked her about church and she said going to her AA meetings is her church. She is accepted there, loved there, welcomed there. My heart is so glad she in a good place in her life now, but as I went on my way, I thought how we need churches for all people, no matter what they come with. Thank you for your words here, Pricelis!